My schedule is kind of crazy these days. My alarm goes off at 4:30 am. After some quiet time with God, 2 cups of strong coffee, and other important things like a shower and tooth-brushing, I leave for work at 6:30. By 7 am, I've put my lunch in the faculty lounge refrigerator, and I am upstairs doing last-minute preparations for the day. At 7:30 sharp, the day begins with homeroom. I have 30 darling ninth graders. I love them. Truly. After homeroom come 3 classes of Spanish II, a planning period, lunch, Spanish 3, Spanish 4, and 2 more classes of Spanish II. The day ends at 2:15. Then I have faculty meetings, tutoring sessions, or planning meetings. By 4:00 pm, I'm home again to throw on some workout gear and head out for a run. Then comes lesson planning, paper grading, paper writing, or grad classes. We have grad classes all day Friday, all day Saturday, and many Tuesday and/or Thursday nights. Right now, our Thursday's are taken up with some class called....actually, I have no idea what it is called. I think it has something to do with filling in gaps in our teacher prep program. Or something. Anyway, it's a pretty hilarious class. The two professors are both incredibly kind but incredibly strong people, and sometimes they rub each other the wrong way. Tonight, they had a guest speaker come in to talk to us about the health concerns some of our students could have.
We were warned of the dire straits in which we may find ourselves if we happen to have a child with asthma in our classroom. Of course, as teachers, we should be incredibly conscious about providing appropriate interventions for our students with asthma. We should be careful to keep them away from plants and flowers (oh darn, I must remember to move Johnny away from the grove of poplars in the back left corner of my classroom...). We should also keep them away from pets (do goldfish cause asthmatic reactions? I don't think so, but I guess I will have to give away the class Doberman. All for the sake of Johnny's lungs.) Of course, as teachers, we should be aware that our perfumes and deodorant can really cause breathing problems for kids as well. (I don't sweat much, but after a day in school, I dare say a lack of deodorant would cause more breathing problems than wearing deodorant.) There are just so many things to be concerned about!
We were also advised to look out for Sickle Cell. Not Sickle Cell Anemia, just sickle cell. According to my African-American professor, this disorder USED to be more common in African-Americans, but thanks to "these young people" and their "merging" (OH the dreaded merging...), black AND whites can now have it. "They just don't do things the old way anymore." (No, we don't. And we young people are ok with that, even if it does mean more sickle cell to go around.)
Finally, we were given strict instructions to "Find out where that Epi-Pen is, and be ready to use it!" One resident asked if it was ok to administer the Epi-Pen through clothing. "Yes, but really, it's just better to get those clothes off. I was helping a man the other day and I had to deal with that. He was flying down the stairs and just fell out on the floor. He was trying to get to his Epi-Pen but he couldn't. I had to get it. And we were in public, but I was just trying to pull his clothes off. I was saving his life. He was wearing clean underwear. That was good. The moral of this story is to wear clean underwear. It's always best if they're wearing clean underwear. But yeah, you just wanna take those clothes off. And was sweating, and I was just trying to take his shirt off." What can I say? If you have allergies, wear clean underwear.
I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time.
We were warned of the dire straits in which we may find ourselves if we happen to have a child with asthma in our classroom. Of course, as teachers, we should be incredibly conscious about providing appropriate interventions for our students with asthma. We should be careful to keep them away from plants and flowers (oh darn, I must remember to move Johnny away from the grove of poplars in the back left corner of my classroom...). We should also keep them away from pets (do goldfish cause asthmatic reactions? I don't think so, but I guess I will have to give away the class Doberman. All for the sake of Johnny's lungs.) Of course, as teachers, we should be aware that our perfumes and deodorant can really cause breathing problems for kids as well. (I don't sweat much, but after a day in school, I dare say a lack of deodorant would cause more breathing problems than wearing deodorant.) There are just so many things to be concerned about!
We were also advised to look out for Sickle Cell. Not Sickle Cell Anemia, just sickle cell. According to my African-American professor, this disorder USED to be more common in African-Americans, but thanks to "these young people" and their "merging" (OH the dreaded merging...), black AND whites can now have it. "They just don't do things the old way anymore." (No, we don't. And we young people are ok with that, even if it does mean more sickle cell to go around.)
Finally, we were given strict instructions to "Find out where that Epi-Pen is, and be ready to use it!" One resident asked if it was ok to administer the Epi-Pen through clothing. "Yes, but really, it's just better to get those clothes off. I was helping a man the other day and I had to deal with that. He was flying down the stairs and just fell out on the floor. He was trying to get to his Epi-Pen but he couldn't. I had to get it. And we were in public, but I was just trying to pull his clothes off. I was saving his life. He was wearing clean underwear. That was good. The moral of this story is to wear clean underwear. It's always best if they're wearing clean underwear. But yeah, you just wanna take those clothes off. And was sweating, and I was just trying to take his shirt off." What can I say? If you have allergies, wear clean underwear.
I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time.
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